Germany in 50 years
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What will be 50 years later on? We all like to get to know about it. I ´ve avoided both money and pain in order to find it out. And so I aksed our almost beloved oracle Paul, the famous cuttle - fish who had prophesied all of the soccer results of the last soccer world champignonchip. Paul set going his computer and those one exuded an article of the West German Islamic Standard Journal of march 23rd, 2062. But who will ever know, how matters will develope in reality.
...but Paul had ever been right, but perthap
s not`?

WESTGERMAN
ISLAMIC
STANDARD JOURNAL of March 3rd,2062


Topical announcements:

The number of unemployed people is being declining further on. Like the statitic central office informed there were still only 12 millions of people unemployed. But the speaker of the governement let us to know that the reduction of the dole (Hartz 23) cannot be taken back by financial reasons. But with Allahs help the unemployed people would be successfull.

Federal minister of culture Yossuf protested against plans of the UNESO to integrate pigs to the list of threatened animal - species. Those pigs would be dishonor for an Islamic country and had to be elemininated.

The minister of familie affairs von der Leinemanns demanded the duplication of the family benefits from the 5th kid on. Otherwise the Islamic German people would be threatenend by dying out.

The American President Roland Regen is going to make a state visit in the Islamic Federal Repiblic of Germany already this year. The government will engage themself for the persecuted co - religionist in the imperialistic USA.


The wheater forecast:

On thursday a hurricane will come over Northrine - Westphalia. Immense rainfalls have to be aspected. Therefore forget your umbrella and trust on Allah´s help.


TV programme of the ARD of March 23rd, 2062

14.00 h Television for kids
With Ali and Mustafa from the Sesamy Street

15.00 h Soccer National ligue: Schalke 04 versus VEB Dortmund
Live emission from the Doener Arena in Gelsenkirchen

17.00 h The magazine for health
today: Can insect - powder in prayers - rugs cause allergies?

17.30 h Sport
Gymnastics for the army training

18.00 h Programmes of the region
besides others .: Duisburg - last catholic church will be closed


19.00 h Television for education
German four beginnas

19.30 h News for consumers
Today tested: New navigation devices for burkhas

19.55 h Parties to the election of the European partliament
You can see a public relation spot of the Islamic Democratic Union of Germany

20.00 h News and wheater forecast

20.15 h The migrant barn
Hitparade of folk music from Anatolia
Live emission from the Rhineruhr - Hall Duisburg Marxloh
Starguests: The heartfellows of Istanbul
Conferencier: Ali Hinterschauer

22.10 h Parties to the election of the European parliament
You can see a public relation spot of the Socialistic Islam Party of Germany.

22.15 h News and wheater forecast
following: The word to Ramadan
it´s speaking: Herr Iman Siegbert Yilman

22.35 h Political Talk: Islam in chane
Theme today: Are stonings still being modern? Six journalist of 7 Islamic states are discussing with two surprise guests

0.00 h Prayer to the night

0.10 h Anthem


Tips for events of the next week:

Monday
Public stoning of a homosexual at the market place in front of the city - hall. If the wheater might be bad, the event will taken place in the hall. Start 11 h

Thuesday
Planned bombing attack against the administration building of the US imperalistic company Universal Motors ltd.. The attack shall take place at 12 h at the rush hour. Rubbernecks shall please keep 100 meters safety zone! The attack will be emitted live by Super Sat in television.

Wednesday
A delegation of our sister town in Belarus is being expected in the city hall. We want to welcome our co - religionists!

 


 

Local short news:

At a strong accident on the autobahn at the Duisburg crossing two men and a Christ had been hurted not seriously. The police supposed high speed to be the cause of the accident. A car left the street and broke the guard railling.

During the thunderstorm at last Thuesday a flash of lightning striked the minarette of the fatih mosque. Awful atheistic activists misused this event for their repulsive propaganda.

The Street of the Holy War in Ruhrort has to be closed because of urgend building measures for probably thrree weeks.

A speech at the people´s hig school. Imam Ali Müksul and burgomaster Hussein Hoffmann are discussing the theme "Shall the FPOE, the last of the remaining German parties, being forbidden?" We can look forward to a interesting evening.


ADVERTISINGS:

The Job - market

Active student as a harem guard at 400 Euro base till now wanted. Good conditions. By qualification later full time job possible. Info: +49 207 4688365

former cath. clergyman is looking for a full time job. I ´ve not learnt anything real matters, but I will be honest for everything. Offer anything at all! Give me a chance! Tel.: + 49 207 678468

Terrorgroup is looking for a suicide attacker till now or later. Freelancing or full time job. We offer a good interne old - age pension. No temp agency. +49 207 1245443

Your chance! Reorientation to a muezzin for lay priests, sponsored by the relief office. Examen with diplome Tel. +49 207 8965435

Unemployed? We are looking for stewards / stewardesses Iran Kamikaze Airlines +49 207 4368357


Different matters

Now ulitimately available! Mein Kampf - Adolf Hitler´s masterpiece, uncensored reprint. Bookery Oeksburz Iranische Str. 12, Castrop - Rauxel


Cars and vehicles

I to buy each car! Favorised Mercedes, BMW, Porsche and full size cars . +49 207 4674378

The local bus company offers some casted off busses. Ideal to be a second car for big families. For offer: Tel. +49 207 400 - 2457


Miscellaneous:

SM Susis exclusiver auna - club: The very new burkas from latex are arrived! Boss feeling! Respect also my new special Ramadan - offer: One time whipping in the diving suit only 50 Euros! Till now, kiss SM Susi!

Green wire e. V. Gay boys are meating each other on thuesdays evenings. We have a lot of fun together and a little bit more of it! Bochum, Osamastr. 23


Family affaires

We announce for
our forced wedding!

Mustafa Üxknurtz
Fatima Yücksell

The marriage will take place at the following friday at the Kalif at 11 h Ali Mosquee Essen - Altenessen, Khomeinistr. 37b

Gifts of money for the happy bride and bridegoom sent to the account Nr. 456 546 122 at the bank for Islamic partisanchip BLZ 574 581 76

Allah will reward you for your generous gifts!

 

But now, let´s hope, that our aracle Paul was wrong at all at this time...